Because addiction doesn't just affect the addict......
|
|---|
A letter written by a client of The Lighthouse Foundation to her daughter
Dear Daughter Today is your 21st birthday. For the past 21 years we’ve laughed, cried, argued and made up a thousand times. To mark this special occasion and celebrate all you have achieved I have bought you a special necklace and your big sister has bought you the bracelet to match. The only problem is I haven’t seen you for a few days and the last time I saw you I remember you were very drawn and pale. I know that you need time to be free and live your life with your new boyfriend, but you see Sweetheart I have been hearing things and they are giving me cause for concern. At last you’re here, I’m trying to pretend that you are not as thin as you look! I’m trying even harder to pretend that your eyes don’t look different and even that emotionally you don’t seem to be the same person. Now I am struggling, I want so much for you to have a happy birthday. Something in my mind snaps. You told me he was a recovering drug addict! We helped you build your home so that both of you may have a chance. I accepted him into our home. I tried hard to understand things I knew nothing about. I turn to you and the blinkers are off. I can’t believe what I am about to ask…..your reply is deafening, I fall to my knees. The feeling is the same as when my mother died; the pain, the noise that comes from my mouth. I can’t cope…panic, devastation. We talk, we walk, you leave. I’m left. I tell your sisters and brother. Go and get her, lock her in, don’t leave her out there. I don’t understand. You’re to blame. We’re to blame. It’s her own fault. It’s our fault. Crying, anger, silence. Weeks, months, no sleep, can’t eat. Feel helpless, useless. You came home, need help, no necklace, no bracelet, lies! I’ll stick with you no matter what, we eventually help each other. Proud of you. You’ve been clean for four weeks and you have a job. To trust is hard but the barriers are going……he gets home from jail and once again your gone! Alone, empty, screaming inside. I love you with all my heart, he hurts you. You won’t let me help. I feel like a failure. All other relationships within our family have suffered, my partner. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I need you happy, I need you safe. You’re beautiful, you’re smart, you’re precious to me, my daughter. Please come home.
Mum xxx
|
